I’m sat in the bus from Samara to San Jose. We need to get back up there to register, race brief and stay the night before leaving the hotel tomorrow at 4am, 3am rise for us to load the coach. Then from here we head down to the start line, another 4 hour drive south.
Currently having the most monumental wobble I think I have experienced pre race yet.
I can’t stop crying.
My thoughts are running away with me into a direction I’m uncomfortable with.
I’m worried about the race, the registration, being lost in the jungle, everything hurting, whether I can do this, whether I can even run day 1 let alone 2,3,4,5 and 6, I’m worried about food, will I get enough food today pre race, will there be enough things that I can eat during the race, seriously this list is endless. I’m worried about what to worry about next.
This is my anxiety rearing it’s ugly head and all I can do is sit here and cry it out.
These races can play a multitude of mind games with us. We are all different and respond differently to races both pre, during and post.
Now is my wobbly stage and fuck do I hate myself for this right now.
Again, I’m only sharing this with you as I promised I would, it’s leaving me pretty exposed and vulnerable but I also know that some of you will relate to this and therefore I can only see it as a good thing.
It’s now 9.30am sat 9th ….in 24 hours I will be 30 minutes into the biggest race of my life.
Now for the self belief I preach!